This is the first in a series of emails that I recently sent out to my support system – the people I know I can count on to stand beside me through thick and thin, always pointing me back to Jesus. I wanted to share these letters with you because I know I’m not the only one who has fears to overcome. I pray that these little notes, originally written around Thanksgiving, 2016, will encourage you to take the first steps towards victory.
Praised be Jesus Christ!
I need your prayers! Some of you are up to date on my healing journey, but for those who aren’t I’ll give you the short version:
Jesus has made it clear to me that I won’t truly be free to move forward in life until I overcome my tendency to hide from my parents and other close relationships. In recent weeks especially He has shown me that I am very reverent toward the enemy in my home and careful not to disturb his evil work in the lives of my family members. Jesus is calling me to nothing less than to overthrow the kingdom of darkness that has reigned in our family for generations and be the instrument He uses to bring God’s life here. Several months ago I received a very special grace in which Jesus made clear to me that this truly is my vocation, the reason I am here on this earth.
My brothers and sisters, I’m not exaggerating when I say I will not be able to do this without your prayers! The enemy has held me captive, paralyzed by fear, for over a decade. And even now I can’t think of anything more terrifying to me than coming out of hiding, being myself with my family members, allowing my light to shine before them. But it stops here.
You have all been faithful supporters of me through the years. I am so grateful to have people like you who have allowed me to experience what authentic love is like. I need you now more than ever.
This week I am going to be keeping track of everything that triggers my fear of intimacy with my family – all the many situations each day that send me into hiding. I’ll be away the 19th – 23rd. During that time I will be gathering strength, waiting on the Lord. When I return home I will begin my strategic attack on the enemy’s strongholds that have held my family and I captive for so many years.
Will you commit to partnering with me in my mission through your prayers and sacrifices united to the Cross of Christ? Specifically here are my needs:
1. Mon. Nov. 13 – Fri. Nov. 18 Please ask the Holy Spirit to give me light to see exactly where my weak points are, what my triggers are and if there are any patterns to them. I will send out the list of things He shows me on Friday so you can be praying specifically for strength in those areas.
2. Sat. Nov. 18 – Wed. Nov. 23 Pray for the Holy Spirit’s guidance and divine strengthening during my time away (I’ll be visiting the Sisters in LA so please also pray for discernment and a blessed time of fellowship with these beautiful women of God!)
3. Wed. Nov. 23 I’ll be arriving home this day, and I can almost guarantee that I will be fiercely tempted to rely on old, unhealthy patterns from the moment I see my parents at the airport. Getting home from a trip is one situation that I already know is a huge rut for me.
4. After that: Please continue to pray! These walls weren’t built in a day and I I know they won’t be taken down in a day either. Your words of encouragement and accountability are welcomed and much needed!!
May God reward all of you richly for your participation in the work He is doing in my family. Only in Heaven will you know fully the impact your prayers are having, but I pray that Our Lord will lift the veil a little and let you catch a glimpse of it here on earth 🙂